Imagine that it’s October 31, 2022, a little before midnight and the last week before the midterm election. Americans are refreshing their Twitter feeds, waiting for final messages from the accounts of the Republican and Democratic party. Finally, a new tweet pops up:
Pundits are impressed with the use of the letter K 23 times; it’s a strong finish to the month for team Democrat. But a few minutes later, the Republican response, much less elegant, appears: “Democrats suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.”
A firestorm of Twitter controversy rages for about ten minutes - this isn’t a real word, does it even count? Could Republicans win control of Congress by cheating? Then, in the few seconds of the month, a quote-tweeted reply bursts into the Democrat’s feed: “Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk”
And with that, Democrats breathe a sign of relief, having secured the support of a fickle but surprisingly essential voting bloc: Redditors.
Five weeks earlier
Was it a joke? The title of the post denied it explicitly. Posted in r/AskReddit, the question was, “In the midterms, I’m only voting for the political party that uses the letter K the most times in their tweets during October. (No joke.) Is this a good idea, why or why not?”
While many outraged responses were along the lines of “No, this is the most important election ever!” the idea of disrupting the status quo rapidly gained a passionate group of defenders, who publicly made this absurd commitment as well. Further discussion mapped out the rules; the letter K would be counted in original tweets from the two major parties’ blue-checked accounts, and a daily winner would be recorded. Whichever party had the most wins at the end of the month would get their votes; r/eleKtion quickly became one of the fastest growing subreddits.
Was there a better way to give the middle finger to the political parties that displayed such contempt for the average voter than to pick such an asinine and arbitrary way to elect them?
Nothing much happened for the first week of the month; the official tweets paid no attention to what was happening in one weird corner of the internet and stumbled into the daily wins. Republicans took an early lead. But on October 12, political insiders were shaken by the result of polling over the Columbus Day weekend. In the US Senate race in North Carolina, Republican Ted Budd trailed Democrat Cheri Beasley, 41%-43%, with 9% undecided, 4% supporting other candidates, and 3% insisting, “the letter K.”
The letter K
Although the poll was hushed up, the question was raised: Could a bunch of Redditors disrupt electoral politics the way that r/WallStreetBets had shaken the stock market the previous year? The change to the parties’ Twitter feeds was subtle but real; Republicans charged Democrats would leave American “woke and broke,” while the Democrats started accusing Republicans of sympathy for the KKK. Jubilant Redditors scoured polling data, looking for evidence their digital activities were impacting the physical world.
Mainstream media seemed reluctant to address the story directly, lumping support for the letter K in with “Undecided” in reporting results. By October 23, it could no longer be denied; support for the letter K was also spanning the gap between the Senate candidates in Florida, Arizona, Colorado, and Nevada. Finally, at 7% support, the media began acknowledging the existence of a “meme campaign” that was winning backing by frustrated voters. “Some people today just don’t take democracy seriously,” chided one prime time anchor.
The dam burst; Congressional candidates began pandering to disgruntled voters by seasoning their own tweets with the consonant. “I’ll klean up Washington,” promised one challenger. Respectable polls found support hitting 13% in the last week of the month; internet polls were highly skewed as discontented Americans jumped on the bandwagon. Was there a better way to give the middle finger to the political parties that displayed such contempt for the average voter than to pick such an asinine and arbitrary way to elect them?
Finally, by Halloween, each party had collected 15 daily wins and the 31st would be the tiebreaker. Was it all just a stupid internet prank? Could millions of Americans, fed up with the dysfunction of Republicans and Democrats, rewrite the rules of how elections worked and gain an upper hand? Neither party was willing to take the risk that it wasn’t a bluff; controlled by their drive to win, they were helpless to do anything but yield. Thus: “Democrats suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.”
A constructive alternative to politics as usual
As this thought experiment shows, a small percentage of the American people can bend the political parties to their will by creating their own metric for voting. With that power comes great responsibility; any disruption should be for the purpose of building something better and addressing systemic problems in the country. R/WallStreetBets defied conventional logic when Redditors refused to sell GameStop stock; by individually demonstrating courage and ‘hodling’ it, the group came out ahead after entrenched interests conceded billions of dollars. Likewise, a national association of voters willing to reject traditional political strategies and ‘hodl’ together can collectively bargain for legislative concessions.
The American Union of swing voters - r/AnAmericanUnion - offers such a model for the 2022 election. By refusing to play the lesser-of-two-evils game, the American people can have leverage over the major political parties, since it only takes a small percentage nationally to decide control of Congress. A crowdsourced legislative package, the Blueprint for a Better America, encapsulates the political demands:
End poverty with UBI, 18 weeks paid family leave, and a public option for health insurance.
End mass incarceration with major police, prison, and prosecutorial reforms.
End the endless wars by downsizing the military and reforming some foreign policies.
Ultimately, the threat to both Congressional candidates and the political parties is the same; support immediate passage of the Blueprint or be willing to see a bloc of votes swing to the other faction. To be credible, members of the American Union agree to vote together for the Republican or Democrat candidates for Congress who get the American Union endorsement. (Monthly $5 dues also weed out anonymous foreign actors.) If Congress passes our legislation by October 26, the American Union of voters can reelect all the members who made it happen.
If Congress refuses to act, the American Union endorsements will disrupt partisan politics on Election Day.
We may replace as many incumbents as possible of both parties.
We may elect candidates at random to undermine their legitimacy.
We may award the balance of power on the basis of a coin flip.
While crowdsourcing legislation is more complex than simply counting the letter K, the payoffs for America will be far greater. When 3.5% of Americans unionize as voters, we can win a better social contract for all of us. Help break the polls and insist you’ll vote for the American Union in 2022.